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View Full Version : Easter ring trip, the FUG report



Paul@Zen
1st April 2005, 18:51
My first trip to the ring was a damn good experience, to just write a brief post about having a laugh and adopting some armco just wouldn't do it justice. It all started many moons ago, when NevetaS started to lure me to the 'Ring with some nice pictures and a couple of cool videos (roll that die..). I've always wanted to give it a go, so fcuk it I put my name down. Armed with a DVD of John's in his Sti V I set about learning what I could in anticipation of what I thought would be a good road trip and a chance to tour the worlds best toll road.

Thursday 24th March -

7.30pm Fcuk, still getting ready, gotta get up at stupid O'clock, panic panic panic, load load load. Quick swizz round to round up the mountain of paperwork I seem to need. Few tools, loaded, although I shouldn't need those if I stick to the plan. Shit it's 9pm and I'm still not in bed, all sorted now though, so shower and get to bed, set alarm for stupid O'clock....
10.30 and I'm still awake, been tired for ages, why can't I sleep? C'mon body, don't you realise we have to get up at stupid O'clock?!
Midnight, now she's coming to bed, I'm never going to be able to sleep at this rate, now I only have half the bed, it's going to take twice as long...
Nope, that didn't work either, still awake ;)
Must be nearly 1am, gotta get to sleep for at least a few hourszzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ....

Friday 25th March

Aaaaaaaaarrrrrghhhhh, it's stupid O'clock! Christ alive, no, it can't be, I'm actually awake, did I sleep at all? Not feeling too bad, it's 2.50am and I've already even eaten breakfast and had a cup of tea. I wait around for John to turn up, as he has agreed to come along as a passanger, he can give me some advice, and it gives him a chance to get a ring trip for little money. 3.05am and John pulls onto the drive, sorted! Pile his stuff into the back and we are off to meet NevetaS at Thurrock before going onto Folkstone.
We get a good run down to Thurrock and find Nevetas at the services looking fcuked. Last fuel in blighty and we top up on some Redbull too, feel the burn baby!
A leisurely trip to folkstone and we arive as the sun is rising. Going through passport control, NevataS in his Bad Boy M3 (complete with pimp tints and "look at me I've got an M3" plate) gets the Spanish inquisition, we just get asked if we are going to "that racing thing".
The tunnel thing seems to work for me this time, crossing without delay, my channel tunnel success rate literally doubles!
We emerge into Yerp and begin the trip to Belgium where we will be stopping to fit the FUG with some new front brakes, up to the job of stopping on the Nurburg ring road. Nevetas enters our destination into the M3's master computer and the steerage of our course is set. Another can of silver and blue and I have my wings, we are off, cruising accross France and rapidly into Belgium. The border crossing is accompanied with an instance change in road conditions from bad to worse, welcome to Belgium.

We are clicking along now, need a piss. Getting there, time to give Nevetas a tap and tell him we need to stop. Fcuk, road is getting bumpy, and now I really really need a piss. 5kms go by and no services in sight, it's time to piss, right now! We pull up at a convient ditch, and after the anticipation, the piss doesn't dissapoint, a few pints later and we are back on the go, M3 pipes wailing followed by fast flowing scooby burble.
The M3 decides with need to exlpore Antwerp, so it would be rude not to, and explore it we do. All of a sudden it's like we're in "The Belgian connection" as the M3's satnav goes into evil bastard mode. Both the Pimpmobile and the FUG are more than up to the task however, quickly showing the Antwerp trams a thing or to about handling, as we bob and weave the oncoming traffic to avoid the steady tram which seems to stick to the road like it's on rails. After some nice loops, u-turns, switchbacks and all round stunt driving We get to the outskirts of Antwerp and it looks like we are home free. But the HAL aboard the Pimpmobile has other ideas and throws in a last ditch attempt to overt a trip to Nurburg, sending us into a queue of local idjiots.
Success! NevetaS must have pulled the plug on HAL and we hit something resembling a proper road, thank fcuk for that.
NevetaS reboots HAL and we seem to be being guided tentatively into Morkhoven where the brakes are to be fitted. After a few moments of doubt, we do indeed appear to be on the correct street, and pull up at a convient Shell garage to grab some fuel and ask for directions. NevetaS manages to pick the petrol attendant from hell, she appears to either be hovering to serve him, checking out the pimpmobile up close or thinking he is a drug running crim. Fortunately she just seems to want to check out the pimpmobile, so we ask here where the Garage is that we are looking for. She points, and says something along the lines of "it's here!" as we look behind behind the SHell station, we realise that HAL has redeemed himself, and the master computer from the pimpmobile lives to mislead us another day.

The garage is a very tidy affair, and they offer us every concievable aid, including ramps, airtools and even some overalls. Checking out the new Stoptech brakes, and they are impressive. Very nicely made, even John is impressed with the quality. Just before we make a proper start, lunchtime comes around, and as keen as we are, none of us has had anything besides some vintage Red Bull to keep us going since about 3am, food it is then. Well, nothing had quite prepared us for the range of eating options in Morkhoven of a lunch time. On the advice of Rob the mechanic, we stroll up the road to a snackbar "on the corner" and stroll we do. More strolling, but no eating, in fact, not really much of anything, no people, nothing. The strategic move is made to find the other snackbar, which we do, only to find it's closed, and since we are back at the garage we jump in the Pimpmobile and head off into downtown Morkhoven.
It seems that Morkhoven doesn't really have a downtown, not even a "down the road", just a stream of random buildings and the odd shop of some sort which looks permanently shut, until we spy something that looks like a bar so we dive into the nice sized carpark and go to check out their warez. As we open the door and take a step inside, everying pauses, even the cat, and stares. I am sure if there was a neon sign saying "Outsiders!" the barman would have been looking for the switch, while maintaining the stare. "Any food?" gets a startling response, as if we had asked for nuclear bomb with a side order of fries, that'll be a NO then! We get some directions to the shut snack bar we had already found, and returned to the carpark.
Oh the joy! The beer man has come to deliver and parked his truck right across the entry to the carpark, we are treated to the delights of in car DVD as we watch a seemingly infinite pallets of stuff go in and out of the truck.

Paul@Zen
1st April 2005, 19:03
More later...

NeVeTaS
1st April 2005, 19:55
Seriously good, so good infact this puppy needs to be moved into general tongue.gif tongue.gif